Back

Well, I know that once I went back to work I pretty much fell off the face of the Earth!  First of all, the beginning of the school year just got crazy!  It's always super busy, but we also have 2 new teachers on our team this year that I try to help when they have questions, etc.  THEN in September my computer completely died... wouldn't even boot.  I had to rely on Chris to let me us his laptop to check e-mails and stuff.  This kept me from getting on here, and honestly I just got out of the habit!  I got a new laptop in November, but I have drug my feet on getting back on here.

So why now?  Well, it really started last week when I had to leave work instead of being able to complete my parent teacher conferences because I was having chest pain, weird feelings in my wrist, and shallow breathing.  I spent 5 hours at the ER (90% of it waiting!) to see what was wrong.  I thought it was an anxiety attack, but they wanted to rule out heart issues or a blood clot in my lung.  Luckily, I was right and it was a panic attack.  This was a huge wake up call though because I always expect the worst because I know that I'm out of shape.  This scared me, but it didn't seem to be the push I needed to get back on track.

Then last night Chris was working late, and I was looking for something to watch on TV after I put my son to bed while I was putting in my report card grades.  I was looking for something On Demand, and I decided to watch an episode of Extreme Weight Loss.  I have watched it before and been amazed, but this particular episode hit too close to home.  It was a young woman with a young son about the same age as mine.  She was talking about how she had dealt with this her whole life and always said she was going to change things but never did.  She then said that during her first pregnancy, she lost her first child when she had to give birth at 5 months pregnant and the baby died after 2 hours simply because her body was too big to support the pregnancy.  As a mom who wants to have another baby in the next year or two, this was a scary thought!  Then she started crying talking about how she has wasted 4 years of her son's life not being able to play with him and run after him the way she wanted to and that she needs to be the best mom for him and their future children.  This is the point when I started crying hysterically because I could completely relate.  There have been 2 instances in the last few weeks where he's been playing on the playground equipment and I wanted to swing or slide with him but couldn't because I was too big.  I also love amusement park rides, and he's now getting to the age where he wants to do some of those things, and I can't ride all the rides I used to be able to. 

I saw a pin on Pinterest the other day that said something about would you pick the satisfaction of food cravings for a few minutes or the satisfaction of living your dreams for a lifetime.  There are already so many things I know I have missed out on in my life because of my weight that I will never get back (high school pictures, being a cheerleader, looking thin in my wedding pictures, etc.), but there are still so many experiences ahead that I could still change!  One thing I would really like is to have my next baby at a normal weight.  With my son, I loved being pregnant and feeling him grow inside me, but I was sad that you couldn't see it on the outside.  I just looked like I was gaining a little weight up until I was about 34 weeks!  Overweight and obese people also don't feel their babies kick as early because they are so light at first and it has to get through all those layers of fat.  I don't want to just be the fat girl who might be pregnant with my next one!  Another goal I have is to be able to ride all the rides with my son when we finally take him to Disneyworld in the next few years.  Or wear a cute swimsuit (maybe even a bikini) on a vacation! 

So now what?  My husband and I have agreed to begin doing our meal planning a week in advance and start grocery shopping a week at a time so that we can get more fresh fruits and vegetables that won't go bad before we get to them. I am also thinking about trying to incorporate some Paleo diet type of meals into our family meals to see if this would work for our family.  Even if we don't do it 100% of the time, some is better than nothing!  My goal is also to do some type of physical activity every day.  Even if it's not actually working out by running on the treadmill or going to a Zumba class, even taking a walk as a family or running around the playground with Jameson is more than I do now!  If the girl just like me on Extreme Weight Loss can lose 165 pounds in a year, there should be no excuse for me to not lose at least a portion of that.  (The same would be unrealistic... they worked out like 4 hours a day and had their trainer live with them for 3 months!)

CRAZY!!!

Hey everyone!  Thank you to everyone who stayed on me about not posting!  I did not forget... things have just been ridiculous!  We went back to start setting up my classroom on August 1st and have pretty much not sat down for 2 seconds since.  (Even now I feel guilty because I should be doing some of the work in my HUGE box of stuff I brought home!) 

Last week I worked 13-15 hours EVERY day last week!  Needless to say, that left no time for working out.  I did walk around a lot though!  The problem is I was leaving the house at like 8am and getting home at 11pm, so I ate out for lunch and dinner EVERY day.  Not great for the weight loss!

Yesterday was weigh in day.  As expected, I did have a gain, but it was luckily only 2 pounds!  (I was perfectly happy with that after the week I had!)  I am hoping the return to work will be helpful because I am on my feet a lot more, and I have less time to snack!  Fingers crossed!  Now back to work!!!

OMG!!!

Well, after not having a great week, I was a bit nervous about weigh-in this morning!  I got on the scale, saw the last number, and proceeded to freak out!  I thought I had gained 8.5 pounds!  However, I then proceeded to look at the rest of the numbers and couldn't believe my eyes!  REALLY?  I LOST WEIGHT???  I am down 1.5 pounds since last week!  I am completely in shock and super happy!  I guess even the small differences and just being more aware of doing better must be helping.

Ups and Downs

Well, Thursday was much better!  I had a small bowl of cereal for breakfast, chicken nuggets and light yogurt for lunch, and made a roasted garlic pizza for dinner.  I know pizza isn't the best, but this one had chicken, onions, roasted garlic, and parsley.  Only the creme for the sauce (which I used sparingly) and the cheese were on the bad side.  I also did gymnastics with Jameson and did some cleaning.

Yesterday was not as good because Mom took a day off and we hung out all day, but it was still better than I would have done before all of this.  For breakfast we were getting ready to leave the house and I just wanted something to tide me over until lunch, so I had some pecans.  For lunch, we went to Wendy's for lunch.  I got a pretty fatty burger, but I decided to forgo the fries.  Jameson also had a Frosty that he didn't finish.  I took 2 bites, but I threw the rest away before I ate it.  Mid-afternoon we went to a play place to let Jameson run around and play games (since it continued to rain!)  Mom had some popcorn, and I had pretzel bites with cheese dip.  Luckily, there were not too many pretzel bites, and I only used about half the cheese.  Then we met Chris for dinner at a Mexican restaurant because Mom hasn't had Mexican lately.  There were 4 of us who shared a basket of chips, so I ate WAY less chips than usual.  They brought a second basket, but we left them.  I ate my dinner and resisted the urge to snack later in the evening.  Like I said... not a great day but way better than my past habits.

So far, today has gone well.  Chris is gone helping his boss move, so Jameson and I are just hanging out at home like we do during the week.  I had a small bowl of cereal for breakfast and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all around for lunch.  (Yes Mom... he finally got his PB&J!)  Not sure what dinner will be yet, but it better be good because tomorrow is weigh-in day!  UGH!  Not looking forward to this one!

Rough!

Oops!  Life seems to be getting busier and busier these days!  School is right around the corner, so I am trying to get things ready AND spend as much time with Jameson as possible!  (We are watching Bubble Guppies right now before gymnastics this morning!)

Well, my weigh-in last week went well!  I was down another 3 pounds!  We also went out to dinner with friends on Saturday night, and I did pretty well!  The worst thing I had was an extra beer.  I also brought the majority of my dinner home.

Then Sunday came... and it got rough!  I seemed to be unable to fill up and having serious cravings!  This has seemed to be the case the majority of the week, and I know I've made bad choices.   Then yesterday it hit me... PMS!!!  While that explains the constant hunger and the uncontrollable urge to eat peanut butter by the gallons... it doesn't make it okay!  I made many bad choices (although Monday was okay)... especially Tuesday and Wednesday! 

I am happy to say that this morning I woke up feeling a little more normal.  PMS tends to affect me for 3-4 days, so hopefully this means things are back to normal!  This morning I ate a small bowl of cereal with skim milk for breakfast and feel satisfied with that.  Now we have gymnastics and gorgeous weather to take advantage of!  I have several days of bad choices to make up for and only 3 days until I have to weigh-in again!  This week I'll be extremely happy with breaking even! 

Oops!

Well, apparently things were not going to get less busy this week as hoped!  Now I realize it's been like 5 days since I posted!  Yikes!  We've had all kinds of activities going on this week, so we haven't been home much. 

So basically... I'll give you the quick recap of the week.  Monday was pretty good day food wise, and I got a workout in.  Tuesday was great day food wise but minimal exercise.  Wednesday was a good day food wise and little exercise (but I did go grocery shopping, so I did a lot of walking at the store!)  Thursday and Friday were disgustingly hot, so anything outside was definitely out!  Thursday my exercise consisted of gymnastics with Jameson!  I am always sweating more than him when it's over!  LOL  Food went pretty well, although I overate a little at dinner.  Today was a pretty good for breakfast and lunch, but we got pizza and breadsticks at Jameson's request for dinner.  That was not great, but overall I think it was a successful week!  We also got to play in the pool at Grandma's house this afternoon!  Now comes the hardest part of the week... THE WEEKEND!  Weigh-in on Sunday... I will keep you updated on how it goes!  I'm hoping to be down where I was back before July 4th!

Checking In

I know things have been short lately!  I'm hoping that will change this week, but I know it's only going to get worse as the new school year approaches!  I was hit with the realization this week that I only have 2 and a half weeks left until I head back!  GEEZ!

As usual, weekends can be very difficult!  We celebrated Chris's birthday with a day of family fun on Friday (which turned into a family nightmare in the form of a screaming tired 2 year old!) and then had a birthday party AND a BBQ with friends yesterday.  UGH!

HIghlights include:

• Had grilled chicken and a diet root beer when we went out for Chris's birthday lunch
• Took some of the meat off of my sandwich when we went out for birthday dinner with Mom and Pat
• No snacks at the Science Center
• Ate a lot of celery at the birthday party and avoided the dessert table
• Ate pulled chicken instead of pulled pork (less fat)
• Had about 2/3 as many chicken nuggets when we had lunch at home today

Downfalls include:

• No "real" exercise this weekend (even though we walked a lot on Friday)
•  Had taquitos, potato salad, and cake balls at the BBQ
• Took Jameson out for a celebratory ice cream tonight after dinner for eating all his dinner (doesn't happen often) and a good day with the potty training.  (I did get a small instead of a regular and no cookies in it.)

Weigh-in today was much better than last week!!!  After being up 5 pounds last week, I have lost 3.5 pounds this week!  Back in the right direction!  Now, the weekend is over and it's back to hard core discipline.  (And so far, plans next weekend are limited!!!)